Ponder on these imponderables for a minute...

Got this on email and thought it was quite cool...

1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person
who drives a racing car not called a racist?

9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.

Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licences of bald men?

15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little
spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?


16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What
are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while
they deliver the mail?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (my fav)

18. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

19. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those
little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?

22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and
the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make
the Tennessee Titans?

23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea, does that mean that one
enjoys it?


24. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when
you send it by sea it is called cargo?

25. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365
days a year, why are there locks on the door?

Up shit creak..

A funny thing happened to me on the way to Reno...

This one's good guys. Very very very good. After my devilishly funny post on Thursday (thanks for all the comments - somehow it won't let me comment) i went for a braai at my mom's house, had a great supper, played with my beautiful (and i mean beautiful) dog and went to bed.

Woke up on Friday morning EARLY. My stomach was aching - i felt nauseous. It felt a bit like butterflies - but not the good kind - the one's you find in a b-rated Sci-fi movie. It was confirmed - i had a stomach bug. The rest of the morning / day was spent cleansing my insides in every which way i could.

Now for those of you who haven't had the honor of a tummy bug. In the words of the late great Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin - "Crickey, he's a tricky little fellow ain't he". You can be the Queen of England or a bergie next to the train tracks - when that sucker strikes there is no difference in class. We all do what we need to do to get through the day - and it ain't pretty.

On many occassions i have mentioned that the worst thing on earth to me is throwing up (yes people i would never be bullimic - trust me). I just dont' think man was suppose to do that at all. It just doesnt work for me. Adding the fact that it also meant that my respitory infection started flaming up again - i can honestly say - not my best day ever :(

Now for those of you squeemish (i can't spell today) types i do apologise for the gross report of bodily function. This post really should not be seen as negative or moaning - i'm simply stating an obvious point - through all of this i prayed that the good Lord would allow me to fare well to my dear ms Coxic in one gigantic thrust down under. I really hoped that ms coxic would be excremented from my body and flushed down the toilet... But to no avail... It was not to be...

So, ms Coxic survives to fight another day. In a weird way i'm kind of proud of her (not really, but i don't want any bad vibes from her side). And yes you are technically a bit insane when you start reffering to your coxic in a female capacity.

But hey, at least i lost a staggering 2.5kg in one day. Finally i know how those hollywood damsels keep in shape :D

New jobs and other ponderings...

Life has been quite hectic for me the past couple of weeks. As most of you know i started my new job on the 1st of April and i’m really trying to get stuck into the new groove. The first week came with a few surprises and i felt a bit hopeless. I soon realised that i had to stand my ground otherwise i will be washed up by the end of the year. I only have two hands.

See, one of my clients from knet is starting up this new consultation company. So they asked me to head it up for them. I would obviously be the only consultant in the beginning but the whole idea is to grow it into a flourishing consultant agency. I therefore resigned at knet and decided to give it a go...

I bought a laptop, tried to figure out the whole internet access at home thing and waited for my first day. The day finally arrived and in no uncertain terms they told me that i would have to bring in money by consulting to companies, find new clients and set up this entire company structure. That all was said in 5 minutes and my reply to that was WTF? How am i suppose to work 5 days a week consulting on a project management / business analyst / data integration specialist basis; set up a busines plan and budget for the company; find new clients and pay my own salary.

This idea left me quite stressed when i left the office. I was thinking... Where am i going to find new clients? How am i going to handle all the work? What if i’m not good enough? What have i done?

By Thursday i got myself to relax a bit and started setting up a type of business plan for myself. I also restructured my whole department at knet, and had a very detailed meeting with my knet boss explaining the future of my department. When i got home on Friday my new boss phoned me to say another company wanted to see me about another project that Monday. So i went and it looks good – seeing that i have worked with this company before.

It is going to be a very trying couple of months ahead – this is a whole new territory for me. I am very much about structure, viability and job security and it is not so easy when you are a consultant (i still blush when i call myself that – such a big word for such a frightened person>. Also, i have so much work to do at knet still, including a trip to joburg next week sometime to sort out suppliers. This in between the huge project for the other company. So yes, there are positive and negative things about new moves but at least i got out there and gave it a go...

AND wait how can i keep you in so much suspense... now another chapter out of the anoesh diaries...

Yes people it has now been 7 weeks since i broke little miss coxic and she is still having a little tea party at my expense every now and again. On the positive side i’m not having those extreme pains while sitting from a month ago. On the negative side i now struggle to get up when i sit too long. It’s a different pain and it feels like somebody is driving a knife through my ass everytime i get up. Also, for those of you who have not had the pleasure to meet me in person – i am quite a big girl (okay, maybe grossly overweight is more accurate but this is my blog! And yes i am going to get shouted at for belitteling – excuse the pun – myself but it’s kinda funny). So because i have to get up in such a weird way and put so much pressure on my knees they are starting to ache.

I r to be broken a bit maybe...

So i reckon that either this is the last stretch of my pain or unfortunately my coxic has grown back incorrectly. Oh my please dear Lord let it just be the last stretch! Nonetheless i will be going back to the orthopedic surgeon on Monday for a check-up and i will see what he says when he puts his finger up my ass again (apologies for the crudeness) – hehe.

That’s about that from me and my coxic – i hope you are all doing well and chat soon.

PS. I have to end by saying through all this drama in my life i am starting to get to know myself so much better. I’ve spent a lot of time alone the past couple of weeks and that maybe one of the best things that could have happened to me. But please beware – nobody is aloud to comment on this post with positive afterthoughts like: “there is a reason for everything.” “sometimes pain makes you stronger”...

Much obliged J

still here...

hey guys,

it's been ages since i blogged and i just want you to know i'm still here - just busy with the new job etc... Will hopefully write a longer post later today.

I hope you all are well!

anch

Little life lessons... awesome isn't it!

Apologies for my absence in the blogging world. Truth is i don’t have that much to say. Sorry, no inspirational insights. No moaning, no gripes.

My anoesh is unfortunately still in a very brittle (excuse the pun) state. I have given up on it getting better for now – the pain is all-consuming and by the end of a day i just want to lie down. It is affecting my mental state more and more, but i have faith that “this too shall pass”... or so the optimists would like us to believe.

To tell the truth – in the beginning i thought it was quite simple – shit happens you know – sometimes you just fall and break your ass and that’s that. But as the weeks went by (it is almost 6 weeks now) i have started believing that i am being punished. Punished for certain thoughts that i have had and mistakes i have made. Oh ye’ of little faith shall bear my scorn... It might sound freaky but i am not quite in the mood to explain myself and the reasons behind it right now. I don’t quite appreciate the lesson i’m suppose to learn from this experience either. I would much rather live without that lesson... At this point it’s not really a lesson to me but a sign of defeat...

Anyway – enough of the deep stuff. On the positive side i have now started my new job and am doing consulting for my old company this week. I am looking forward to seeing what my new endevour brings into my life. I have to admit that it is quite scary and unfamiliar to me. But this is a lesson in life that i am suppose to learn ... and that i understand...

I don’t think this post made much sense today... It did a bit in my head... And that’s probably all that counts.

Chat soon