I am a delver… I like to know and understand things. I want to know how you are, what you feel and why you feel it. I can sense your anguish and laughter and feel happy to share your pain. With this sensitive nature a deep introspect of self evolves. Whether I want to know myself or not – that was never for me to decide… I need to know me… If I can sense other’s emotions so deeply, what would my body and mind do to get the same recognition?
I have therefore stopped fighting about getting to know myself. My inner self is trying to explain something to me and I have no choice. So after 27 years of ignoring my inner voice, she got hers back and I have been spending more than a year trying to put her at ease. What have I learnt so far?
Well… Think of a big red onion. A bit sweeter than the white one, and a lot of layers to boot. With a little effort you take the skin off … shoo, not such a big problem and your eyes aren’t even tearing up yet. The skin is now off but you are left with a surprise – the next layer is also covered with a skin. This one is a bit messier and you wonder if you will get it off with your bare hands. You might need some help with this. You are now sweating and the onion is tearing you up. Shoo, finally the skin is off.
Ugh, another surprise – you can’t use the next layer, it’s covered in grime and has spoilt. You’ll have to peel this one off as well. You are getting a bit tired now and decide to ask a friend to help. If she could hold the one side of the onion you could peel it easier. But this layer is stubborn and your friend is getting a bit tired as well. Her eyes are now really tearing up – you feel a bit bad for her. You invited everybody for dinner – it’s your job to be a good host. You tell her it’s okay you’ll pick another onion. She agrees reluctantly. You are happy about this, because her hands might smell of onion for a day or two but then it will be gone.
You on the other hand have been working with the onion way to long. You wash your hands… the smell is still there. It’s okay, you’ll leave it for a day or two – it’s bound to go away. You’re wrong… You forget about the onion smell during the day, but as soon as your hands come close to your face you are reminded of that stupid onion and you feel like screaming.
You get home, poor yourself a glass of wine and take the onion out of the rubbish bin. You stare it down and whisper…
FUCK YOU… round two…
2 comments:
Interesting metaphor. I have always thought that people are like onions. We have so many layers covering our true selves that only the brave, willing to cry a tear or two, will reap the true taste and challenges of friendship, and indeed of life. xxx
hmmmm
don't really know what to say but wow!
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