When i started this blog i was excited about writing about what i was feeling in my heart, my deep thoughts but mostly funny tidbits.
My last two posts have not been funny or enlightning at all and i can’t see it becoming much lighter at this stage.
Today i feel sad. Sad about a lot of things. Sad about the fact that i can’t be grateful for all i have, but can only feel grief and dispondency.
Why i am sad:
- i realised again that i am not more important to myself than my family
- i realised this morning that it is my last permanent week at my job of the last 9 years and that i am moving on to the unknown.
- i realised that i really didn’t think about my career move so much and that i did it on a whim (not altogether bad).
- i realised that my coxic is still very much broken and the pain won’t go away. My medication is now finished and i am still in unbearable pain. My knees are now also starting to ache because i use them much more now. I am also popping pain pills like mad... and it doesn’t seem to work.
1 comment:
I am really sorry that you are battling so Anch and hope it will pass soon.
Not to make light of what you are feeling but I have decided to blame the general depressed mood, bad luck and bad days so many people have been experiencing lately, on the planets. I am sure Mercury must be up to something again!
It is not always easy to be grateful for what we have, but is important that we try. Your body is battling, but you are not fighting for your life; you are saying goodbye to an old job but a new one awaits you. Today was a really bad day with Amy ( I think she may be teething) and last night she woke 7 times. I felt exhausted and impatient with her, but reminded myself of the sad news I recently received of an old friend's baby who died after 4 hours of life. She would switch with me anyday and I need to remember that I have so much to be grateful for.
I wish you all the best with the new job and opportunity. It is normal to have cold feet. Trust yourself, embrace the opportunity and whatever it may bring and keep your chin up.xxx
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