Apologies for my absence in the blogging world. Truth is i don’t have that much to say. Sorry, no inspirational insights. No moaning, no gripes.
My anoesh is unfortunately still in a very brittle (excuse the pun) state. I have given up on it getting better for now – the pain is all-consuming and by the end of a day i just want to lie down. It is affecting my mental state more and more, but i have faith that “this too shall pass”... or so the optimists would like us to believe.
To tell the truth – in the beginning i thought it was quite simple – shit happens you know – sometimes you just fall and break your ass and that’s that. But as the weeks went by (it is almost 6 weeks now) i have started believing that i am being punished. Punished for certain thoughts that i have had and mistakes i have made. Oh ye’ of little faith shall bear my scorn... It might sound freaky but i am not quite in the mood to explain myself and the reasons behind it right now. I don’t quite appreciate the lesson i’m suppose to learn from this experience either. I would much rather live without that lesson... At this point it’s not really a lesson to me but a sign of defeat...
Anyway – enough of the deep stuff. On the positive side i have now started my new job and am doing consulting for my old company this week. I am looking forward to seeing what my new endevour brings into my life. I have to admit that it is quite scary and unfamiliar to me. But this is a lesson in life that i am suppose to learn ... and that i understand...
I don’t think this post made much sense today... It did a bit in my head... And that’s probably all that counts.
3 comments:
Shame Anch! Hope your ass starts to feel better soon. I can just imagine how uncomfortable it must be... And good luck for the new job, I hope it's exciting and that you settle in quickly!
See you Tuesday XXX
I think this post makes perfect sense. I think you are entitled to feel the way you feel. As we were discussing earlier - pain is debilitating and no one can truly know what it's like except you. Just know that we are here if u need us for ANYTHING... EVER!!!
shame Anch. sometimes life just sucks and there is no reason. except perhaps the silver lining . now you have broken your ass the chances of you ever doing it again in later life when we are less equiped to deal with it , are minimal. perhaps....I dont know but lots of strength to you. pain like that wears you down
love and hugs
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