Hot Chocolate...

A friend sent this to me this morning... I thought it was really nice...

> A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking
> at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor,
> now retired.
>
> During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress
> in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the
> professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot
> chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some
> plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help
> themselves to the hot chocolate.
>
> When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said,
> "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving
> behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want
> only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and
> stress. The cup that you're drinking from adds nothing to the quality
> of the hot chocolate. In most cases it is just more expensive and in
> some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was
> hot chocolate, not the cup; but you consciously went for the best
> cups...and then you began eyeing each other's cups."
>
> "Now consider this: Life is the hot chocolate; your job, money and
> position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and
> contain life. The cup you have does not define, nor change the quality
> of life you have.
> Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the hot
> chocolate. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They
> just make the best of everything that they have."
>
> Live simply.
> Love generously.
> Care deeply.
> Speak kindly.
>
> And enjoy your hot chocolate!

Gracious blessings...

I celebrated my 29^th bday yesterday and had one of the best days of my life. The morning started off with two big bouquets delivered to my work, courtesy of my friends. Bare in mind that I have never received flowers at work / home before and I was completely caught off guard. Not even a tsunami could knock that silly grin off my face. I then had lunch with some very very very special friends of mine. They made me feel like a million bucks. Everytime I opened one of their gifts I could feel how much care was put into it and how special I must be to them. I was completely amazed…

I ended off my day with loads of drinks, wraps and gifts at my friend’s house (who coincidentally is one of my best friends and also shares my bday). By 11 I was SO TIRED but felt rejuvenated.

It’s very easy to forget that you do in some way touch people’s lives. Sometimes you just need a bunch of flower / lunch or mexican wrap to remind you a bit…J

Smacks of onion...

I am a delver… I like to know and understand things. I want to know how you are, what you feel and why you feel it. I can sense your anguish and laughter and feel happy to share your pain. With this sensitive nature a deep introspect of self evolves. Whether I want to know myself or not – that was never for me to decide… I need to know me… If I can sense other’s emotions so deeply, what would my body and mind do to get the same recognition?

I have therefore stopped fighting about getting to know myself. My inner self is trying to explain something to me and I have no choice. So after 27 years of ignoring my inner voice, she got hers back and I have been spending more than a year trying to put her at ease. What have I learnt so far?

Well… Think of a big red onion. A bit sweeter than the white one, and a lot of layers to boot. With a little effort you take the skin off … shoo, not such a big problem and your eyes aren’t even tearing up yet. The skin is now off but you are left with a surprise – the next layer is also covered with a skin. This one is a bit messier and you wonder if you will get it off with your bare hands. You might need some help with this. You are now sweating and the onion is tearing you up. Shoo, finally the skin is off.

Ugh, another surprise – you can’t use the next layer, it’s covered in grime and has spoilt. You’ll have to peel this one off as well. You are getting a bit tired now and decide to ask a friend to help. If she could hold the one side of the onion you could peel it easier. But this layer is stubborn and your friend is getting a bit tired as well. Her eyes are now really tearing up – you feel a bit bad for her. You invited everybody for dinner – it’s your job to be a good host. You tell her it’s okay you’ll pick another onion. She agrees reluctantly. You are happy about this, because her hands might smell of onion for a day or two but then it will be gone.

You on the other hand have been working with the onion way to long. You wash your hands… the smell is still there. It’s okay, you’ll leave it for a day or two – it’s bound to go away. You’re wrong… You forget about the onion smell during the day, but as soon as your hands come close to your face you are reminded of that stupid onion and you feel like screaming.

You get home, poor yourself a glass of wine and take the onion out of the rubbish bin. You stare it down and whisper…

FUCK YOU… round two…

I am, I said

Why is it that we can’t always just except who and what we are? Don’t get me wrong, some people should never just except who they are – their focus should be to change everything about themselves – point in case Adolf Hitler; Charles Manson. No, I’m talking about us – the wonderful people who roam this earth. There is always something we worry about, think about, try and change … If we don’t have something to work on, change or stress about we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves.

In the beginning of 2007 you were going to change all that and goals were set: I need to lose this much weight. I need to finish this much work. I need to stop letting people walk all over me. I need to express my emotions more. 2007 flew by and you reflected back in 2008: I did not lose any weight, I gained a few kilo’s. I have double as much work to do this year. I have agreed to a friend’s request again, because I can’t say no. I feel a bit misguided but don’t know how to express it.

I am a prime example of setting high expectations for myself, only to feel like a failure round about February every year. The more I struggle, the more I analyse the problem and the more confused I get. Why is this so important to me? Would I be childishly happy once I reach these goals or would I just move onto another issue? Would I find something else to punish myself about by February 2009?

SO many problems – too much this, too much that – not enough of this, not enough of that.

But then suddenly the chaos in your mind is interrupted by the telephone. It’s your dear friend, her husband is very sick and the doctors don’t know what’s going on. You can hear the panic in her voice. She’s tired and needs some love and affection. You are sitting at your desk, working, trying to put the stupid structure in place and all you want to do is race and be by her side. Suddenly the whole work thing doesn’t seem so important.

You walk across the road to get something healthy to eat. Healthy because you are a failure and have to lose weight. You pass a young woman and her toddler. They have nothing. No home, no food. The child’s eyes follow you as you walk into the deli and you are ashamed. You pick up the water and pay your R12. The price for being shallow is starting to seem a bit steep. You buy a coke and give it to the little girl. Suddenly that coke doesn’t seem so bad anymore.

You spend the rest of the day feeling content about your life. You are healthy, have plenty to eat and drink and have a roof over your head. You look at the people around you and smile – they don’t know how lucky they are… You have to marinate in this moment, because you know it’s like a drug and tomorrow things will go back to normal. But for today your cup runneth over…

Agteros kom ook in die kraal...

Finally, I have arrived… well in the blogging world that is. So many of my friends have urged me to do so, but for some reason I never really made an effort. I think something inside told me that it might be an invasion of my privacy. Oi vey! That certainly isn’t a valid excuse…

So here I go – please feel free to invade my “privacy” and “tell it like it is” (sorry Dr Phil!) … I hope I can render some pearls of wisdom or maybe just a bowl of laughs every now and again!

Chat soon…